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You want movie reviews?! I got your movie reviews right here, biznatches! - insert witty comment here

About You want movie reviews?! I got your movie reviews right here, biznatches!

Previous Entry You want movie reviews?! I got your movie reviews right here, biznatches! Feb. 10th, 2006 @ 09:31 am Next Entry

Now, some of you may be aware of the inherent dangers i face as a projectionist, be it film burn, explosive bulbs (serious death may occur), getting my finger caught in a reel as it spins faster than the eye can see, or getting a piece of film caught on a hangnail; but the most dangerous part of my job is: boredom.

Oh god was i bored tonight.

While all of you shiny people were in bed sleeping (or in the case of WildQueen, robbing old ladies for their poodle-grooming funds), I was at work, suffering for you, the SoCal movie audience. Suffering like Jesus did, as he rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, but my bum only hurts slightly worse, due to the uncomfortable nature of the seats in the auditoriums. I waited aeons for Brake Water to show up with our 4 films. (*Brake Water, if you recall from an earlier post, is proud of living up to their motto of, "We're Just Not Shitgivers.") When Brake Water did show, I wept. I wept for I must build those films, and then I must choose, and choose wisely, between Firewall or Pink Panther.

I chose Firewall.

I chose... most unwisely.

By Reel #2, I was playing Mahjong on my phone.

Reel #4, I fell asleep.

Reel #5, my mum dropped off my jury duty notice.. and I fell asleep again.

Funnily enough, I didn't miss a single reel change. My job title is Projections Cheetah.

Firewall, or as my co-worker called it, Bank Force 1, stars Harrison Ford, Virginia Madsen, Paul Bettany, and some guys.

Ford is a computer security honcho at some crappy bank and whey-hey-hey, here comes Paul Bettany with his thugs, kidnapping Ford's family, and wackiness ensues.

Ford's (or whatever the fuck he's called in this film, I never paid attention, Harrison Ford has gotten to the age, like Anthony Hopkins, where he just plays himself in each role.. 'cuz that's what real method-acting is, peeps!), anyway, Ford's kids are brats and die in a bloodbath at the end. Ford and his wife Virginia, keep the dog, and live happily ever after. 

Or not, I left before the end of the movie.

Don't go see this movie.

See Hoodwinked, or Matador.

I have been up for 24 hours. 

Atomicate--You can post this on the beaver site.

Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
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From:karinablack
Date:February 10th, 2006 09:14 pm (UTC)
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*giggle*
I can't wait for your review of the Pink Panther!
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From:razorgirlwild
Date:February 10th, 2006 11:45 pm (UTC)
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oh... there is no way in hell that I am watching that movie... I've suffered enough..
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